How to Stop Calling Self-Abandonment Love
Love was never meant to cost you yourself.
The Illusion of Love is the first book in the Love Is The Lesson body of work. Written for those who were taught to earn love, endure pain, over-function, forgive too quickly, and abandon themselves in the name of loyalty.
The book for those who were never truly taught what love is.
The Illusion of Love is the first book in the Love Is The Lesson body of work. Written for those who were never truly taught what love is, only how to earn it, chase it, excuse it, endure it, and lose themselves aching to be chosen.
This book is for the ones who became the strong one, the fixer, the forgiver, the over-functioner, the peacekeeper, and the one who always understood everyone else while quietly abandoning themselves.
Through family wounds, marriage, grief, betrayal, emotional neglect, and the ache of loving people who could not fully love you back, The Illusion of Love explores the painful awakening that begins when you ask:
What if I was never loved in the way I kept trying to love others?
What if the love I kept chasing was really the wound asking to be healed?
What if I stayed, forgave, explained, and endured because leaving felt like becoming the betrayer?
What if the person I kept waiting for was never them, but me?
This is a story of love, loss, loyalty, self-abandonment, and the journey back to truth, self-respect, and the self you left behind
About the Author
Love Is the Lesson: Heal the Past, Open Your Heart, and Design the Life You Long For is a book in the making, born from my own healing process, one that has taken me through pain, forgiveness, growth, and ultimately, love.
As I write, I’m unpacking the beliefs I carried, the wounds I’ve finally faced, and the truths I’ve come to understand. I am writing my book to share those reflections as they happen, with raw honesty, compassion, and hope. If you’re in the middle of your own healing, longing for a softer life, or trying to understand your past so you can create a more beautiful future, you are in the right place. Let’s grow together.
Love Is the Lesson isn’t just a title, it’s a truth I had to uncover layer by layer, often through tears, silence, and starting over. This space, and this book, are not about perfection or pretending to have it all figured out. They’re about learning to meet yourself with tenderness in the moments you once abandoned yourself. They’re about honoring the little girl inside you who was never heard, and the woman you’re still becoming. My hope is that through my stories, you’ll find the pieces of your own and have the courage to write a new one.
May you begin to trust your voice again, to honor what hurt, and to soften toward the parts of you that once had to harden just to survive. Your healing isn’t selfish it’s sacred.